Sunday, 18 November 2007

• Do you think arranged marriage is an outdated cultural tradition?

  Perhaps arranged marriage is no longer ideal, since women nowadays are allowed to have oppinions, and speak them too. However, I do think that our modern culture has erroneously led us to believe that parental guidance is more equivelant to interference. In reality most loving parents would, I believe, at least TRY to  give insight and wisdom in situations where emotion tends to rule one's thinking. Why is is that young people are disgusted by the experience of their parents? I'm shocked, looking back, at how little my parents had to say about my, now, husband when we were dating/courting. I'm just lucky (or more realistically, blessed by God) that I caught the perfect guy because they really had nothing to say.  If I'd gotten stuck with someone horrible then who could I blame? If they'd picked him, I'd sure call and let them know everytime he proved himself unworthy. "See what you got me into?!"
  
  And, I think that is the heart of the problem. If we give our oppinions to our children, and persuade them into a marriage that we feel positive about, then we feel responsible for the outcome. And who wants to feel responsible for the child who wants to move back home with children in tow when the husband that WE CHOSE for her started taking drugs ran out on her with another man. YIKES.
  
  I think the answer is simpler than most would imagine. Pray! Pray with your children, and often, for their future spouse. Know that God has each of your child's days writen in His book before one of them came to be. Know that His will is the only perfect place for us in life. Let your children know that they, and you, may not recognize that perfect someone right off. Be a team to find him/her. Value your child's oppinion and give yours with respect. Make it a team effort. Teach them to approach each relationship with sense.
  
  Arranged marriage? Not in our family. But there will be a lot of conversation and prayer involved. Hopefully my children will respect my time and experience in judging people's character, that they'll have (and utilize) the support and insight to make a good decision.
  
     

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